Archive for crew

Working with Kids

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , on 14 November, 2009 by Thomas

One of my greatest passenger pet peeves is not following simple rules.  After reading a post on Heather’s blog I decided to go ahead and write my own piece instead of waiting until a more opportune moment.

Honestly, folks.  It’s like working with schoolchildren these days.  And not advanced reading class schoolchildren, either, but the short bus, head start, helmet-wearing, I-pull-my-pants-all-the-way-down-to-go-to-the-bathroom schoolchildren.

As a flight attendant there are certain things I’m required to do and say over the course of a flight, from boarding to deplaning.  Some of these things – like saying “hello” and standing at the main cabin door during boarding – are directions from the company.  Some of these things – like ensuring seat belts are fastened and tray tables are stowed – come from a higher authority (FAA).  I’m not telling you to do all the things I tell you to be a jerk or to hear my own voice, because frankly, I can think of much more satisfying ways to be a jerk, and I hate the sound of my voice.  The only things flight attendants want to say to you are, “Hello,” “Anything to drink,” and “Bye, now.”  You want to be left the hell alone, and we will leave you the hell alone if you do what the hell we tell you to.

Most of you do what we ask the first time, however, there is always at least one guy that wants to be stubborn.  Even if there are only 11 people on the flight he’s going to keep playing on his phone or iPod, regardless of how many times he’s asked to turn it off.  Don’t be that guy.  We hate that guy.  We will say bad things about that guy.  We will not be nice to that guy.  We, when presented with the opportunity, will make life just a bit more difficult for that guy.  We give to you what we imagine to be simple instructions, but apparently a Mensa membership should be required to fly commercially with all the people having trouble following them.

If you decide that you’d like to be that guy, don’t be so obvious about it.  When flying at night when the lights are off, don’t think I can’t see the light from your cell phone or iPod.  Remember, I’m on a little RJ, and I can see most everything.  I will get out of my seat, walk all the way to the back of the plane, and tell you to turn it off in front of everyone.  Here’s a tip: Try turning on your reading light so I can’t that you have it on.  Out of sight, out of mind, right?  And just because you’re an off duty or deadheading crew member that doesn’t mean you’re exempt from following the rules.

To reiterate: Don’t be that guy…or this guy.

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Late Shows

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , on 9 November, 2009 by Thomas

I had a show time today of 1918, or 7:18pm for the uninitiated.  scheduleYou might be thinking, “Wow, 7:18 sure is awfully late to go to work!” and you’d be bang on.  I got in at midnight the night before, giving me 19 hours before I had to be anywhere.  I knew all day that I was to be at the airport at 1918, but the closer it got to report time – and by closer I mean four hours before – the more I began to doubt myself.  I kept checking my schedule to make sure it really was 1918 and not 1718 or even 1518.  Why hasn’t Crew Scheduling called me to ask where I am?  Did they just mark me down as a no show with no concern for my well-being? When I wasn’t busy signing in to CrewTrac, I concerned myself with trying to decipher the 24-hour clock.  What time was 1918?  Let’s see…19 minus 12 equals 7; it’s 7:18 I’m supposed to be there. Geesh!  I couldn’t concentrate on more productive things like wasting my time listening to Pandora or taking  a nap.  Don’t misunderstand me: I’m all about late show times; it gives me more time to sleep in.  But if it were up to me, I’d stick to the earlier late shows like 1645.

Now what time is that?

My first…tee hee

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , on 8 November, 2009 by Thomas

I’ve been lurking on the web for a while, reading other peoples’ blogs, and realizing I have no creative outlet for myself I decided to have a go at this.  I won’t say why I call myself a rarity; I’d imagine anyone reading this is smart enough to figure it out given enough time.  If you’re not smart enough to figure it out, then I’d imagine you’re not even the one reading.  I suspect that here you’ll find quite a bit of bitching, a fair amount of wishing, and even a decent share of good ol’ being.  I won’t tell you to “hang on” or “buckle up” because this isn’t a ride, but I will say that I hope you enjoy what I write.  If I bore you, let me know so I can quit wasting everyone’s time.

I fly for a regional airline.  Though I work on the baby birds, I can travel wherever momma bird goes.  I won’t say who the company is, but you’ll find that out eventually through context clues (surely you were taught how to use context clues in elementary school).  Perhaps when the industry pulls itself out of the crapper I’ll be able to make it to the big leagues, but for now I’m loving my job and doing the best I can to not open the doors and start tossing people out.

I’ve got a goodly amount of ideas for posts, but I don’t want to peak too soon and write them all in one weekend.  That said, all my ideas will probably make their way on to the Internets (yes, plural) within a few days.  What you can expect:

  • Catering woes wrought upon me by lazy FAs and incompetent caterers
  • Possible Probable Definite international flying for our airline
  • New snacks that we sell (read: peddle)
  • Passenger behavior
  • Attitudes of crew members from other bases
  • Virtues? of slam-clicking v. not slam-clicking
  • Not holding weekends
  • Miscellany

Oh, and if you figure out who I work for (birds, both baby and momma), I should probably say that the views and opinions expressed here are solely those of the author and do not reflect those of the airline, management, or fellow employees.